I'm hear somebody...I can't see anything...I'm trying to talk but nothing is coming out of my mouth and, why does my back hurt so much? I feel like somebody is jamming something into my back. I'm trying to tell whoever is talking to me, but I can't make the words come out. Now I begin to remember, I had surgery...This must be recovery. Why does everything sound so far away? Damn! This pain in my back is unbelievable. Where is Laurie? Wait..I hear her but she can't hear me. I'm sure I'm alive because if I wasn't my back wouldn't hurt like this.

I am hearing her a little better now. Oh wait, there's a tube in my throat! No wonder I can't talk. Gotta tell somebody about my back. Things are starting to get a little clearer now...If I write on my sheet with my finger maybe I can tell her about my back. Yup, I can spell. The nurse says I can have some Morphine for the pain. Great! That should take care of the problem. Oh crap, this stuff is making my stomach roll, I try to tell them that I'm gonna be sick....
Whew....That's how to get rid of a tube down your gullet. They pulled that thing out pretty quick when I told them I was going to hurl. I still can't talk, but at least my back feels a little better.

I drift in and out most of the night, it's really quiet in Intensive care. I have a nurse that sits right at the foot of my bed all night and comes in every 15 minutes or so to check up on me. When I am awake I have strange thoughts. I listen to what is happening around me, play with O2 sensor, the little red light that's taped to my finger. I do the "ET phone home" imitation and it makes me laugh. I get the feeling my nurse has seen it lots of time before and he doesn't laugh at me.

I just realized that I have tubes sticking out all over the place. There is one coming out of my neck that looks like a tree on the end, 4 or 5 branches at the end. There is one in my chest that I can't really see where the end is. There is a catheter tube that comes out of "My special place", don't really want to go into detail on that one..

My poor Laurie has to be exhausted. It has been a longer day for her than me. I'm glad she's going home to get some sleep. She must have been worried sick all day. Thank goodness for the guys. All of our friends that we teach with at the Motorcycle School were there with her while I was in surgery and of course Joe..He has a heart as big as he is, and that's pretty darn big. He hung in there since early morning, and I don't think he even scored on any nurses the whole day, I think that must be a new record for him. It must have been a wild time in the waiting room. These guys are a portable party waiting to happen. Words can't describe what I feel for these guys.

I need to take a minute to thank my friends/family. There really isn't a line to separate friends and family in my book. The people I know and work with are family to me. I love them all. They mean more to me than I can possible express, but they know who they are and how I feel about them. It's times like this when you realize just how important these relationships are. I am so lucky to have them.


I'm pretty much awake now, but still a bit fuzzy. Not a bad night really. It's early morning and there is a bit more activity with the changing of the guard. Thirsty..I'm really thirsty. They let me have ice chips, but I really could use a drink of water. I have some voice again and I finally convince them that I promise not to hurl on them if they let me have a drink. They finally agree and I keep my promise.

I don't know what time it is, but the nurse and her assistant come in and ask me if I would like to walk over to the floor to my new room. I say "Sure, why not?" It was just heart surgery, I still have my legs. Macho man..Besides, they made it sound like a challenge, and I wasn't going to pass that up. It was quite the site. Me with my IV tree and my little parade walking down the hall. They kept trying to get me slow down, they were having trouble keeping up with me. Slowpokes..

I'm in my new room now. I'll have to let you know how I like it after I take a little nap.