Well, it happened. My Sasha that has been with me for 12 years, ever since she was just a tiny little fuzz ball, passed away on Nov 12, 2010. She was my best friend, my partner in all things practical joke-ish, and just an all around great friend. I think she knew it was time to go, she gave so much while she was here and never asked for anything in return.

I'll miss you every day old friend to the end of my own days. I hope you are in a place where the sun shines, the breeze blows, and the food is good. I love you with all my heart.

August?

Hey, it's the middle of August already! Hard to believe that this year has flown by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday I was cleaning snow off the walkway, and Oh Boy"! It's almost time to do it again. I'm being sarcastic, I HATE winter with a passion. I keep saying that "someday" we are going to move someplace where the sun shines all day and the temps are in the upper 70's every day but I know I'm just dreaming. I imagine I will be here until I die and for a looooong time after that so I should just suck it up and come to grips with the fact that I'm not going to hit the lottery like I planned.

I used to think that retirement was a long way off and I had plenty of time to get ready, but life kind of got in the way and now time is spinning really fast down the other side of that mountain. I'm pretty sure there is a crash at the bottom for me, but I'm gonna hang on tight and hope for the best.

Travel around the world? Eat my way through Europe? Motorcycle through the Alps? Not likely I guess, but like I always say "It is what it is".

Maybe in my next life if I can build up enough Karma in this one. I keep looking for one of those credit cards that let you build points. I thought maybe they have one for Karma points but I haven't found one yet. When I do I'm going to max that sucker out before I go.

Good luck Rich!

Today our good friend Rich heads out cross-country on a 21 day motorcycle adventure. I envy him the experience. He's going to see some amazing things on his trip. He's a great rider so I'm not worried about him as far as that goes. He has built up enough good Karma points to ensure some great weather along the way so that should work out for him too. Check out his blog to see where he is along the way,
motorich.blogspot.com

God speed Rich, and be careful out there!

Another year, another Anniversary..

22 years July 22.. Amazing how fast the time has gone by. Laurie and I have had our share of trama, drama, good, and bad times for sure over these many years, but we are still here.

Honestly, I don't know how she manages to put up with me. I have the attention span of a 5 year old, and as I get older I get more forgetful all the time it seems. She thinks I don't listen to her, but actually I do. It's just that sometimes I forget the important details-like what she told me yesterday that we are going to have for dinner today, what time she is going to work, and where I'm supposed to be going sometimes. I tell her it's because my brain is full and I don't have room and stuff just falls out, but she doesn't believe me.

We have survived our daughter's car crash, the sudden move of the other daughter to California, her son's move to Georgia, and having to give up the granddaughter that lived with us from birth until she was almost 5. It's been rough at times, but she loves me and I love her so we keep plugging along. I guess after being together for 26 years and married for 22 we have reached the point of "grudging acceptance", but it's cool. We fit. I tease her that the modern 22 year anniversary gift is "sharp pointy things" but we had a great day running around together and buying peaches to make preserves and just hanging out together.


Isn't that what it's all about at the end of the day anyway? Here's to another 22+ years with you babe!

Spring! Finally! I was able to ride today for the first time since November, so I'm a happy camper. The Redwing Blackbirds are back, a little early but that's fine. The air has that early spring smell that reminds me that it really is time for winter to head back north and stay the hell away from here for a while.

It sure does help my mood to see the sun again. I'm always amazed at how difficult the winter darkness is around here. If not for my family I would seriously consider moving to a warmer climate where the sun shines most of the time. I love this part of the country most of the year, but man...Winter sucks.

Work is still boring, demoralizing, and not a lot of fun for me. I know how lucky I am to have a job, but it sure would be nice to feel like I make a difference or have a voice. Since losing the motorcycle program I feel like my worth has fallen to an all time low. It's too bad that between NYS and the MSF they have managed to totally discourage me from doing something that I truly loved and was actually pretty good at. The state doesn't care that they are sending the program money out of state and they still whine about how broke they are but continue to be short-sighted when it comes to taking care of the people of New York. The MSF is in the license mill business and show no interest in being the safety training entity that they once took pride in being. I guess if your money comes from the folks making bikes it makes sense to try to help them sell more bikes even at the risk of turning out riders that aren't prepared to be in traffic. It's sad, and at one time I refused to believe they were doing it, but now I see that it's true.

Ah well, better days are coming I hope...

"Persona non Grata" means "Unwelcome Person"

That's kind of the way I feel some days. I sit in my little corner and watch people go by and feel pretty much invisible. I'm not asked for my opinion, or my counsel. It's weird really, I used to be the one that they came to when a problem needed solving, or with a suggestion on how situations should be addressed. Not any more.

I'm starting to look forward to retirement. I felt it last week when for the first time in my working life I realized that I wasn't wondering how things were going here, not one little bit. That's not a good sign. This week I should be happy to be back, but instead I'm feeling conflicted.

Better days are coming, I'm sure...

Well, it's another year. What the hell happened to last year? It seems like only yesterday I was looking at the start of 2009 and wondering what the hell happened to 2008!

I don't know why it bothers me this much. I have a comfortable home, a wife that loves me, a Granddaughter that is the light of my life, a faithful dog, and....a job. Notice the hesitation? It's a job, nothing more. You see, I used to love what I did for a living. I got to travel to some great places, meet some interesting people, and really feel like I made a contribution to the company. Now, not so much...

It's frustrating to feel that I still have a lot to give and no place to give it. I'm forced to take orders from people with far less experience than mine, and there isn't anyone that I can talk to that really understands. I sit in my little corner, do what is expected of me, and all the time feeling like my light is fading day by day. I know, I know...I'm "lucky" to have a job in this economy, and I recognize that, but I have a need to feel valuable and I'm not feeling that. I have spent my whole adult life working to be the kind of person that treats people in the manner that I want to be treated, I've always been honest and respectful and kind. I have always thought that "work" wasn't a four-letter word, and I have listened to so many people complain about their jobs, but I didn't understand. I think I get it now, they weren't really unhappy with the job, but rather they were feeling some of what I'm going through now. But the question is, how do you recover lost dignity?

Another subject for another day I guess..But, I do hope everyone has a Safe and Happy New Year!